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How can they apply the gospel to their singleness? A Cheat Sheet for Indian, Christian, Single Men. Indian, Christian, single men are a sub-culture of the largest youth population in the world.
>> ENTER THE SITE << How can they apply the gospel to their singleness? More By Jimit Mehta. India is the youngest country in the world. The average age of its 1.3 billion people is 29, according to an article on IndBiz. Its youth population of 261 million people is more than the total population of Pakistan, as reported in an article on The Indian Express . Indian, Christian, single men are a sub-culture of our youth population. They face unique challenges and opportunities. In a nation swelling with young, single people, how can India’s young Christian men apply the gospel to their singleness? Neither Despise Nor Idolise Singleness. All of us experience singleness one way or another—before marriage, after being separated by the pain of death or divorce, or as a vocational calling (1 Cor. 7:7). How we think about it can deeply affect our experience of it. Firstly, we can despise our singleness. On one hand, we hear about “the perfect someone†who is out there somewhere. Our life will be full of meaning and all our sorrows will end, if only we can find her. So we end up despising our singleness. Bollywood is constantly selling this narrative to us. Deep inside we are all hoping we would be swept away in our own fantasy
story . If we are honest, even in Christian culture marriage is glorified and provided as the ultimate solution. As a result, single people feel pressure on them to get married. We need a better story of singleness than simply idolising it or despising it. Alternatively, we can idolise our singleness. Conversations around singleness have had a major shift over the last decade in our country. Indian women increasingly prefer singleness to marriage. Single men bemoan the difficulties but prize the opportunities of singleness in India. Singleness is often presented as a “no holds barred†life. It comes with no restrictions or responsibilities and a free fall to seek the life that you truly want. “Do not be tied to someone for life,†we are told. In the words of a famous song, “You do you.†We need a better story of singleness than simply idolising it or despising it. How can Indian, Christian, single men thrive in the gospel without squandering or loathing their single-hood? Christ-centered Self-care. Self-care has gained much prominence during the pandemic and rightly so. But as single men, we are prone to look at self-care in a very self-centered way. God calls us to consider caring for ourselves in the light of loving our neighbour as ourselves (Mark 12:31). Our care for self is a means to living a Christ-centered, people-serving life. This helped immensely during my single years. Devoting myself to daily rhythms of exercise, nutrition, and weekly practice of Sabbath played a key role in finding satisfaction in singleness. Nurturing healthy rhythms of reading, meditation, exercise, and prayer go a long way to keep our hearts fixed on Jesus during this journey of preparing for marriage. We rush into a relationship with all our baggage, or remain commitment-averse to “protect our heart.†I am an avid reader but it would be folly to think I can keep up reading the same number of books I read as a single person. Invest in this time of singleness by reading good books that help you think through things that really matter to the heart of God (Phil. 4:
. How would God want you to care for yourself in this season? Allow the Father to Work Through Your Wounds. Many Indian, Christian, single men come from wounded homes—experiencing neglect, apathy, loss, or abuse. For many of us these wounds inform the narrative we lean towards in our singleness—either despising it or idolising it. We rush into a relationship with all our baggage, or remain commitment-averse to “protect our heart.†Our Heavenly Father wants to father us through this season. He wants to remind us that he is engaged, attentive, and pursues us intimately. This was (and is) so pivotal to my experience of God’s
for a single person. When we do not apply the power of the gospel to the power of these destructive narratives it can set us up for unwanted pain that can be avoided.
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